Friday, June 1, 2012

impatience

I am very bad at waiting for things that I want.

I've been told that this is a good quality to have, since it's part of the reason why I tend to get the things I want instead of waiting around and hoping that they happen.  But when changes take time I get frustrated and ornery, so there's that down side.  I also have a very small transition period between "dealing with stuff" and "no longer dealing with stuff", which makes it hard to make the adjustments needed once I've decided that I refuse to live with whatever hardships/irritants/situations have pushed me over that edge any longer. 

Add to this the fact that I get antsy when forced to stay in one place for any significant length of time, and you should have some serious sympathy for my husband.

Currently, we are trying to decide what the next few years should look like from a lot of angles - housing, educational opportunities, etc.  The fact that every decision we make hinges on a phone call or piece of information that we need to wait for is driving me nuts.  Also, Partner is working again, which means that all of my desires for change impinge upon his minimal free time, and I'm leaving soon for my summer field season, which really limits the time frame available for making decisions and/or puts him under a lot of stress.

The sources of last week's anger have largely been dealt with, but we're putting off one opportunity for financial reasons, which I always find irritating and against my idealized world-view.  Realism be damned.

We'll see what June has in store.  One manuscript submission for sure, so it can't be all bad. 

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