Wednesday, June 17, 2015

in which...kids

Bad blogging has continued.  But hey, I made it through the term, students graduated, I even got a tiny, miniscule amount of research done.

Right now I am teaching in a summer program for elementary and junior high kids.  It is evident that this is not an area of strength for me; repeated participation is unlikely, unless I someday want free tuition in this program for kiddo.  Seriously mad props to all you elementary ed people. 

I'm supposed to have a research student starting next week.  I haven't even cleaned my lab from the class I taught last term.  Is it terrible of me to start my research student with literature to review and dishes to wash, at least until said elementary program is over in a week and a half?

In toddler land, kiddo was a little angel for a four-day trip to the grandparents, but has proven her resilience by being a punk since we got home.  Why do they do that?  Next week she starts napping at daycare, because it was time, and also I am going away for two weeks in July for unavoidable international work-related things.  I am having serious mommy guilt about both of these things - kiddo is still nursing, still nurses to sleep 99% of the time, and I am sending her off to sleep with strangers (ok, they are not strangers, but you know) and then abandoning her for 14 days straight after 18 months of never being away overnight at all. 

The napping at daycare thing is partly so that Partner can be less insane as a single parent when I'm gone; kiddo will be able to stay there 6-7 hours instead of 3-4.  I think she will be ok with that if she can get the napping part down.  I kinda wanted to wait until she turned 2 for long daycare days, but she really loves the place, and I know we've been lucky to have the flexibility of shorter days up to this point.  Come fall term I was going to have to do it anyway, since my work life has been such a disaster due to insufficient consecutive hours of time at the office.

For the two week travel in July, I am mostly worried about traumatizing her by taking away the boobs all of a sudden and leaving her with daddy and some expressed milk for so long.  I'm sure they will adapt, I'm sure it will be fine, after a few rough days at the beginning.  I am an overly anxious parent, so I have to assume I am applying that mindset here as well.  I guess we'll see, since I don't really have the option of cancelling.

Summary: Mommy guilt.  Academic guilt.  It's a perfect storm.